Drugi jezik na kojem je dostupan ovaj članak: Bosnian
By: Bor Klemenc Mencin
It was the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep, my mind racing at the speed of light trying to finally fathom the decision I long knew it was bound to arrive at. Looking at the ceiling of the room random thoughts bursted and bubbled into my plane of conscience. These past couple of weeks seemed like yet another giant roller coaster of incoherent briefs, fleeting deadlines, half-hearted attempts and poorly thought-out ideas. And looking forward was like looking at a mirror image of the past. Why can’t I make this work? How could I continue on going like this? Or maybe it really wasn’t as bad as I thought? Maybe I was just caving into the pressure of a really long day, erroneously extrapolating it over these past few weeks? Last time around I was thinking the same thing but we got some awards in the end, didn’t we? Was I really losing the hang of it or am I being too hard on myself? It wasn’t the first time I had been stirring in a cocktail of emotions … I guess it comes with the territory.
I did my best to come into the agency setting without a pinch of naivety, knowing full well that I’m probably getting into a 50+ hour workweek, occasional evening, late-night and weekend shifts as well as a near-constant expectation of delivering a glut of witty ideas looming over my head … It wasn’t going to be easy. Still, I hadn’t thought I’d find myself increasingly mulling over these things with such fervor just 3 years later. But this time the unsolicited emotional nightcap my mind was concocting for me was different. Instead of serving me yet another restless night, it poured me a cold glass of clarity. No matter how hard I tried to think about everything else, a thought kept eerily creeping back from the recesses of my mind, sneaking around the cacophony of angry, nagging and overzealously consoling voices until I could finally hear it clearly. It whispered: “It’s time.”
It was time. Time to admit I wasn’t cut out for #agencylife or at least to admit I couldn’t, wouldn’t and shouldn’t be in it for the long haul. I had enough of myself complaining about not having enough time, not having control and not being able to come up with THE idea under my breath. Don’t get me wrong – I loved brainstorming, coming up with ideas and writing them down, distilling and developing the best ones, creating something out of nothing in the hopes to inspire at least someone with the end result. Despite generally avoiding being naive, I believed and I still believe advertising has the power to change the world for the better – not all the time, maybe not even most of the time, but when it’s done right it’s better than magic. I loved my colleagues – their enthusiasm, their lucidity, their creativity, their sense of humor, the wisdom and fearlessness they showed. Even the new office looked like something straight out of a Scandinavian interior design catalogue. But the simple truth is that once all these wonderful things coupled with the realities of working at one of the fastest growing agencies in the region, it just wasn’t worth it for me anymore. That much was clear to me now … Thanks thought.
So the following morning, after months upon months of brooding over it, I decided to sit down with my boss and have a frank and honest heart to heart and see whether we could work this thing out … Just kidding. Instead, I did what any tried-and-true *millennial* would do (or so I’ve heard). Driven by the idea that there has to be another, better way of doing things I was upfront about my decision and recited an extended version of “It’s not you, it’s me” I had built up in my head the night earlier. And that was that. So what now?
Disillusioned by a plethora of stories I’d heard from fellow industry professionals, taking up work at another agency was just more of the same – isto sranje, drugo pakovanje. In my book, that option was off the table even before I came to grips with my decision. All I knew was I wanted to make a change for the better. I had no grand delusions about setting out to “change the industry” – an utterance that seems to have become little more than a mere catchphrase on the lips of some. No. What I could do and felt I needed to do is change the way I approach and do my craft, brush shoulders with a few new experiences, make some mistakes and maybe set a few examples which others could follow along the way. So this is partially why I chose to create the Diary of a Freelance Creative (thanks for the copyright, Ekrem). The other reason I started writing this is that it will basically function as a kind of log chronicling my experiences as a freelance copywriter, which I’m going to be able to read in a year and see where I made gains and if I suffered any losses, what I learned over the course of this little foray and whether or not the whole thing was worth it. I chose to name the column “Diary” and not “Record”, “Log” or “Journal” because I aim to write exclusively from my perspective and be as frank and honest as I possibly can in my writing. I’ll try my best to get you unfiltered and uncensored access to the nitty-gritty of le freelance expérience, ups&downs, warts and all. However, my polished sense of courtesy as well as the duty of preserving the anonimity of my partners and clients will thankfully prevent me from completely spilling my guts.
Now because I’m a product of the industry I can’t go without laying down some basic KPIs before I start. These will serve as general guidelines that will enable me to assess whether the decision to start freelancing payed off. As you can imagine, I have been thinking a lot about the reasons I quit and what I want to change. There were quite a few but basically it all boiled down to two principal issues: time and control. So I will have been successful if I manage to achieve the following:
- free up time to do more of the things I love
- have enough freedom to choose more of the projects I want (instead of need)
- earn at least as much as I did back in the agency
My ability to meet these KPIs will probably vary a lot in the beginning as I’ll try to juggle between them, but in time I should be able to learn how to balance them out. If not, there’s always the possibility of going back to sitting at a desk. Or sleeping under a bridge…
Since I know at least some of you have been toying with the idea of leaving it all behind in a cloud of smoke and debris to experience the full force of unrelenting freedom that is self-employment in the creative industry, you’ll hopefully find at least some value in my writing. Maybe you’ll see that it’s not so tough and scary out there and that striking out on your own is probably the best option for you. Maybe the experiences I’ll have will make you think twice about leaving the safety and coziness of your office. Or maybe you’ll just go “fuck it, I can do better than this moron”. Whichever the case I hope this thing will help you filter out any inhibitions, excuses or ill-conceived plans you may have and come to your own conclusions.
See you in a month.